Just add a few glasses of wine and it will all be fine

That’s my philosophy when things go a shape resembling a spherical english fruit (pear-shaped if that went a little north of your noodle). Well the pilaff was all ok, the chicken wasn’t too dry but it doesn’t seem to matter too much with that dish as it’s all cooked in chicken stock which might inject a little more moisture into it. We tend to do that dish quite a lot really, as it’s simple and tasty.

I have bought a duck to do for tomorrow’s dinner and as always I am in search of the holy ‘crispy duck skin’ grail. It is one of those things that, until you have mastered it you wouldn’t dare call yourself a cook (possibly a slight exaggeration). I have seen so many recipes for crispy duck and pork crackling that are advertised as fool-proof, never fail methods but they never seem to work. Well not for me, and I’m speculating here and you may call me a liar and slap my wrist if I’m proven to be wrong, it doesn’t work for a large proportion of the general duck roasting public.

Aside from digging the bicycle pump out of the garage (ok, I live in a mid terrace and don’t have a garage, but I’m trying to paint a picture here!) pumping it up to resemble some sort of culinary rugby ball and glazing it lovingly with an oxyacetaline torch, I don’t know the inside secrets of crispy skinned perfection. Maybe these overpaid, premadonna chefs keep fobbing us off with these half-baked (see what I did there?) half-soaked (God I’m hilarious) recipes that don’t deliver the crispy goods, so that they can retain all the glory.

If anyone out there has some pearls of wisdom and feel they want to divulge this closely guarded secret I would appreciate it, as would my father. There have been many nights when in the Bell household, the air has been a tinge of blue when yet again the duck has come out of the oven and the skin is sad and limp. This is when you marinate yourself in a few glasses of wine and it will all be fine.

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